Q&A with Anita Roberts, Author of Safe Teen
Q: What is the focus of your work?
A: Safe Teen embodies a youth focussed assertiveness model which teaches teens a concrete way of accessing their inner power and standing up and speaking up from that place of inner wisdom and strength.
Q: How/Why would this method of asserting themselves work to stop bullying and harassment and de-escalate violence?
A: People who feel the need to bully, harass or hurt other people have low self esteem. They feel powerless and what they want is a power 'hit'. These people require an easy target. Safe Teen demonstrates 'easy target' body language and behaviors (what not to do) and then teaches teens how to communicate authentic power in situations where they are being intimidated or challenged either physically or emotionally. The skills taught include fear and anger management and concrete body language and verbal techniques.
Q: What about the kids who are doing the bullying? How does Safe Teen help them?
A: Built into the Safe Teen program are gender esteem building exercises. Young women and men who feel good about themselves don't hurt other people. The work we do also serves to expose the dynamics of bullying so that the kids who are actively engaging in these activities will gain an increased awareness of why they are doing what they are doing. Once the dynamic is exposed in a group, they will be more likely to feel self-conscious about their behaviors and as well they will be less effective as bullies because their classmates will see who they really are.
Q: Why is it necessary to have two separate programs?
A: Females and males are conditioned differently around violence. Females tend to "act in" (eating disorders, self mutilation, depression) and males tend to "act out" by engaging in physical violence with each other and with the females in their lives. There are exceptions - female violence is on the rise and we do address this in the Girl's Program - just as we address boy's as victims of violence and bullying. The work is done in gender separate groups because both genders need a safe environment to explore these issues with a gender-same role model. Once the young women and men feel strong and positive in their gender identities, they can come together to share what they have learned in an open and productive way.
Q: What is the difference between the Girls Program and the Boy's Program?
A: When we look at the statistics on violence against girls and women it is clear that our young women need help. What is not so clear is that our young men are in trouble. Not only are they continuing to choose violence as a method of solving disputes, they continue to be deeply entrenched in "Boy's Code" behaviors - high risk, life threatening behaviors in relationship to themselves, each other and the females in their lives. Safe Teen offers young men a powerful alternative to violence and skillfully guides them toward cracking the code of "Alpha Male" attitudes which often lead to violence. In the Boy's program we give the young men a way to stand up for themselves without resorting to physical violence. A way to "fight for their right not to fight" and a way to "step down" from a physical challenge without feeling they have given up their power. Through anger management, assertiveness and gender esteem building Safe Teen helps boys feel good about themselves and to see that they can choose what kind of man they wish to be.
We teach the young women those same skills with an added focus on verbal violence, dating violence, and rape. All verbal harassment including, racism, sexism and homophobia are dealt with - we name these types of harassment as "verbal violence" and make it clear that bullying is "emotional terrorism" not a "spectator sport". We ask that teens - especially girls - become accountable for the devastating impact of this form of violence on others. Physical self-defense skills are also a component of the Girl's Program in the event they are faced with an unavoidable physical or sexual assault. The boys examine sexual consent issues and both programs have a healthy relationship component.
Courtesy of: Raincoast Books
Updated 01/02/02
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