A Conversation with Marlo Thomas
Q. How did you come up with the idea for Thanks & Giving?
A. When I look back on the various projects I've worked on, I realize that everything I've created has come from something I really wanted to say. Free to Be . . . You and Me grew out of my feeling that the books I had read as a child did little to encourage me to be anything in the world I wanted to be. So when my sister's daughter was born, I wanted to read something different to her something that would encourage her, and give her big roomy role models that allowed her to have big dreams. I wanted her head to be filled will all the possibilities she could imagine for girls and for boys.
The Right Words at the Right Time came from my personal experience a time when I learned that something as big as a life could be shaped and inspired by something as small as a well-turned phrase spoken at just the right time.
Thanks & Giving came from a similar place. One day I found myself thinking about how many of us know how to thank and give, while many others are stingy and never say thanks for anything. I started to imagine all the wonderful stories that could be about this. Funny stories. Meaningful stories. And some songs, too.
I also started to wonder, "How come we only think about thanks and giving one day a year, when in fact we really thank and give each and every day?" At the same time, I thought it would be interesting to explore the whole idea of giving in different ways. Money is one way, sure, but we can also lend a hand to someone or something by giving our time, our support, our love.
And being an actress who has worked a lot in comedy, I knew that a book about all this could also open up a whole range of very funny possibilities. It's called Thanks & Giving because it covers the entire gamut: gratitude and sharing, family, generosity and love and even their polar opposites, like ingratitude, stinginess, and the occasional urge to pitch a fit. It's sometimes lighthearted and silly, occasionally irreverent, often touching and poignant but never over-serious. And it's very entertaining. I've read it countless times, and it still makes me laugh. There are stories that always touch my heart, too.
One of my favorite stories in the book one with a great moral happens to be about the meanest little girl in the world. It's called "Teeny Meany," and it's very funny.
Q. What about the idea of Thanks & Giving Day? Was that a natural outgrowth of the book?
A. The projects sort of evolved together. Because of my work with St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to combine the book with a great, nationwide effort to raise money for children who really need it kids in every community in this country who are battling cancer and other deadly diseases, and who are affected by the great research we do at St Jude. What could be better than a national shopping campaign between Thanksgiving and Christmas in which people who will be shopping anyway for themselves, their family, and friends could also give a little something to help these children?
Q. How long have you been associated with St. Jude Children's Research Hospital?
A. All my life, really. My father, Danny Thomas, founded St. Jude in 1962. During his lifetime, I was involved in a variety of ways, from taking part in "mathathons" when I was in grammar school, to participating in the Teenage March in high school. When I grew up and could help my dad out even more, I would make speeches at dinner events around the country, or have my picture taken picking up a check for St. Jude that kind of thing. But after my father's death in 1991, my brother, sister, and I took over his work of building awareness and raising funds. The idea that it takes the three of us to do one man's job tells you a little something about the enormous efforts my father made on behalf of St. Jude for nearly three decades.
Q. Specifically, what is your role at St. Jude?
A. My formal title is National Outreach Director. I'm part of the team that's responsible for raising the $365-million-a-year budget it takes to pay for the research science and children's treatment that's done at St. Jude. I also meet with new corporate sponsors in the hope that they will become partners with us. This year, for example, such wonderful companies as 7-Eleven, CVS Pharmacies and America Airlines have become new partners.
Also, to build public awareness, I film PSAs with the children of St. Jude, film a television special each year, strategize marketing plans, and talk friends like Sarah Jessica Parker, Robin Williams, Antonio Banderas, Ray Romano, and Will Smith into helping our work by being a part of our campaigns. I'm always writing letters, or in meetings, or on the telephone. And I travel like there's no tomorrow. I am certainly in the running for "Queen of the Frequent-Flyer Mile."
Q. How has your work for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital affected your life?
A. People always talk about what parents leave behind for their children whether it's money, a house, or even a family business. But I don't know many children whose parents leave them something as enriching to their lives as St. Jude has been for us. Working with very sick children, meeting their parents, and knowing you can make a difference changes your life. The work of St. Jude gives us the opportunity to give hope and a real chance at life to many, many children.
Even though my sister, Terre, my brother, Tony, and I have always been close, St. Jude has brought us even closer, because we do the work together. It's funny, my brother always says, "If there ever was a man who had a way to keep his kids together for life, it was our dad, and St. Jude was the way."
Q. Can you share a favorite memory about St. Jude (perhaps from your childhood)?
A. I can immediately think of two. When I was growing up, we had a house rule that phone calls were forbidden during dinner; but my father was allowed to break that rule if a call came in from St. Jude. I'll never forget how, when he came back to the table, he'd sometimes have tears in his eyes, because a little boy named David "didn't make it." Or he'd be beaming, because a little girl named Amy was "going home at last." My sister and brother and I would always wonder: Who are these children, and why are they so important to our daddy? Of course, we soon learned that these were the kids of St. Jude, my father's other family.
And now that we are grown and doing the work of St. Jude, we understand our father's passion and concern for the children and their parents. They have become our family, too.
The second memory happened in 1991, when I visited St. Jude for the first time after my father had died. I was so afraid of the inevitable wave of memories of all those times I'd been with him at St. Jude. I knew they would sweep over me when I entered the hospital, so I just stayed in my car in the driveway and cried, afraid to go in.
Finally, I pulled myself together, and when I walked into the hospital, I saw a party going on. Kids in paper hats. Ice cream and cake on the table. Balloons everywhere. Lots of happy noise.
I asked a nurse, "Whose birthday is it?"
She said, "It's not a birthday party. It's an off-chemo party."
Here were all these little kids celebrating and deriving strength from another child's turn for the better. That was the moment I knew that my father's spirit was still very much alive in this wonderful place and always would be.
Q. How did your father influence your views on the concept of giving?
A. Among his many talents, my father could take immense and complex ideas and boil them down into one meaningful or outright funny way of saying it that would make me remember it for the rest of my life. In the case of thanks and giving, my father used to say, "There are two kinds of people in the world: the givers and the takers. The takers sometimes eat better, but the givers always sleep better." If any one thought is at the heart of Thanks & Giving, that would be it.
Q. Thanks & Giving: All Year Long is by "Marlo Thomas & Friends." These "Friends" include Paul Newman, Tiger Woods, Ray Romano, and Whoopi Goldberg, just to name a few. How do you get such high-profile people to participate in your projects?
A. Well, first of all, these people are obviously very generous, thoughtful people. And . . . I never take no for an answer. My friends kid me about this. One friend once remarked, "Don't say no to Marlo she just takes that as a battle cry!" I think sometimes people agree to do what I ask of them just to get me off their backs! But in the end, they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't have good hearts in the first place. Not everyone says yes, you know. Just the good guys.
Q. Do you have any favorite stories about Thanks & Giving coming together?
A. Oh, many. But one that comes to mind happened one evening when everything seemed to be going wrong: Manuscripts weren't coming in, illustrations weren't working, collaborators were out of town or unreachable. It was late at night and two of my editors and I were writing down what seemed to be an endless list of fires that needed to be put out immediately. While doing this, we suddenly realized that the one thing that didn't need any fixing at that moment was a little drawing of a monkey that appears on the front cover of the book. We thought the monkey drawing was perfect. So there we were, it was midnight, and we're writing this memo together. When we were done, I read it out loud. And when I came to the section that listed all the things we needed to fix, I found myself saying ". . . except the monkey." All three of us fell into fits of laughter for about five minutes. Except the monkey. It just seemed so absurd. That's when we decided to knock off for the night and go out for a late, late dinner. Naturally, everything got better by the next morning. It always does.
Q. Who do you see as the audience for this book?
A. It was designed for children and the grown-ups in their lives with a special emphasis on kids who like to curl up with Mom and Dad for bedtime stories. It's also for teachers to read in class, play and sing the songs, and make up projects using the different stories and themes very much like they do with Free to Be . . . You and Me. And, of course, the book is also for the child that still exists in the heart of every adult.
Q. So you're aiming for a very broad appeal here.
A. You bet. Hey, any book that has Tiger Woods and Whoopi Goldberg next to Ray Romano and Hilary Duff next to Mel Brooks and the Muppets well, you know you've got something for everyone. I'm very hopeful about this book. And, of course, very thankful.
This interview is provided by Simon amp; Schuster Children's Publishing and can be reprinted for publication either in full or excerpted as individual questions and answers, as long as they are reprinted in their entirety.
Added 11/01/04
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